Grundy Kill You Dead…With Cuteness

Our new little girl has arrived! To accompany our 4 cats (BIS, BES, Sudo, and Siri) and our lone dog, Marvel, we adopted a new German Shepherd puppy (so says the paperwork, although the vet says Terrier mix).
Why the name Grundy? Since our cats all have tech names and our dog’s name is comic related, we kept the canine-comics-thing going. And while DC is an acceptable name for a comic book company, it wasn’t really a name for our dog. So I picked one of my favorite characters from the DC Universe, Solomon Grundy (who got his name from a twisted children’s nursery rhyme).
Plus, we are big fans of the classic zombie, which Solomon Grundy is.
Why another animal? We’ve got a lot of love to give (just not for children). Plus Marvel is socially inept at dog parks. We thought, when she was a puppy, that she’d become friends with the cats. That never happened. So Grundy is here to not only be loved but to be a good friend for our Miss Marvel.

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Two Real Homosexuals talk about HBO’s ‘Looking’

Maybe HBO’s Looking got the gay cattiness correct. But everything else? We’re not so sure.
Me: So…What did you think?
J. Little: Well where do I start?
Me: Really? You thought it was that bad?
J. Little: I didn’t think it was completely bad. But here I go. I went into this show thinking that it would be the gay-west-coast version of GIRLS
Me: I found it more tolerable than GIRLS. Which, btw, I loved the first 2 seasons of, but this new one is too cutesy to take seriously.
J. Little: …Overall, I liked [Looking]. I feel that it did a good job of showing a very specific sub-culture of the gay community. Keyword: GAY. Not LGBT.
Look at those boys. So far they’re all homogenous. White, or close to it, slim, cute gay men who appear to like the idea of blending into society. When the episode opened with Groff in the woods “cruising,” I felt they could have taken it further. They could have shown more. Groff wasn’t awkward enough to play the whole I-don’t-do-this-type-of-thing role. Groff as a gay geek shows a good image of the gay community. He’s gay and doesn’t bother himself with fashion but technological intellect. I know plenty of these gays. They play the “I’m lonely because I’m smart and awkward” all the time.
Me: Yeah, that whole “cruising the old fashion way is too icky but this new online, lonely thing is awesome!” was a little silly.
J. Little: Exactly. OkCupid? Let’s be honest, I haven’t heard of anyone use that service in a long time. It seemed like a very G-rated way to show that type of setting when we all know that it is way more sleazy than that. A stroll through Central Park in the day time would have given me more entertainment than that.
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New Tattoo

I forget what an achievement it is to have written and released my fourth book. It’s truly something that not everyone can say. It’s not perfect and it’s not the best thing you’ve ever read, but damn it, I’m so very proud of myself and my new book, Masturbating with OCD (which will be available on Amazon someday).
I have a ritual where I treat myself to something special whenever I release something. With the last book I released almost 2 years ago, I snagged an original 1987 Skeletor, Evil-Lyn, and Panthor action figures.
Well, with two new books released so close together I wanted something huge.
I fell in love with a flyer, of all things, of local artist and Arts Magnet alum Jeremy Biggers and his painting series, Jaded.
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I held on to the flyer because, well, I’m possibly a hoarder and refuse to throw away anything I find inspirational and pretty. Then, while helping my mom clean, I came across an adorable picture I had never seen before of a baby me in a cute Batman onesie. I can remember being a huge Batman fan as a kid but had no idea my love went as far back as toddler age.
Baby G with baby B
After releasing the books, I got myself a new tattoo (you’ll never hear me refer to a tattoo as “ink”). Tattoos were a pretty big part of my early 20s but now in my early 30s I barely give them a thought. I had my 10 tattoos and that was that. And even if I wanted to get more, I wasn’t in any mood to start looking for reputable artists since the artists I trusted a decade ago have since moved on.
This isn’t a review of Suffer City Tattoos, this is just a post to express my love for my new tattoo and the amazingly talented and incredibly funny Stephen Hibbs. He knew exactly what I wanted and delivered. And best yet, not only was the work wonderfully and beautifully executed, but the conversation was just so much fun. Seriously, after the whole thing I was actually giddy. It made my stomach hurt by how excited and happy I was. That’s not normal.
Anyway, here’s my new art and I love it.
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Get Your Paperback Copy Today!

Ready for some numbers?
“Masturbating with OCD” available now in paperback for $12.99, digital copy is $7.00 via Smashwords, or $5.00 on my website.
Get your paperback copy NOW at the Createspace e-store and it will be available next week on Amazon.com.
You can also grab a copy of “Ask a Gay Guy: Vol. 2″ on Smashwords.com for a mere .99 cents
All books available soon in the Kindle and iTunes iBook store.
Keep checking back for updates.
G.

Please, Age with Grace

Whatever happened to aging gracefully?
Whatever happened to aging gracefully?

I don’t understand the band Train. Just how old are they? Is their purpose to be polite “rock” for the middle age? My mom recently made me listen to her favorite song “Drive By.” Where I think I would have felt embarrassment if I were a teenager, as an adult I just felt sad.
I missed most of the verses because lead singer, Mr. Train, INSISTS on what I guess could be described to be rapping. And by the way, I could look up his name but I really don’t want that in my search history, so I’ll just call him Mr. Train. Anyway, I did catch this gem in the chorus.
“[I'm] just a shy guy looking for a two-ply
Hefty bag to hold my love.”
Oh God. Nothing about that is cool. And what’s worse is that he undoes his entire effort to connect with youth in the very next line.
“When you move me everything is groovy.”
If you’re not using “groovy” in a ironic or sarcastic way then you probably shouldn’t use it. ESPECIALLY if your goal is to be a hit group in this decade.
Really, I think what bums me out about this band is that they are the musical equivalent of “Just for Men,” the “foolproof way to get rid of gray” as described by the website. The thing is, listening to Train or using hair dye doesn’t fool anyone. And no matter how much labels guarantee to hide age, your age is still there. What’s worse is the if you manage to fool someone then you have to keep up your efforts of what is really just lying. Have you ever seen a 50-something year old man with loose, saggy skin and “moobs”, but stark black hair with no bit of gray? No? The just watch the Train video for “Drive By.”

“Like a Lady?” from AaGG

Dear Gay Guy,
Good day, ok, I’m gonna give this a shot. I’m gay, 45 years old, just finished my career in the Marine Corp where I was never out. In fact, I’ve never been out anywhere. Recently I became online acquainted with a seemingly very nice young guy of 30. This Saturday we are going out for the first time, dinner, movies and maybe a few drinks. He is out himself. I am stereotypical Marine, physically 6’4″ tall, 220 pounds and a top. He is a beautiful young and petite guy and a bottom. My question is this, generally speaking, would I be going in the wrong direction if I do for him what I would do if I was dating a girl? Yes, I’ve dated girls before. I mean, open the car door for him and hold others for him? I know some may like that, others might not. But generally speaking, are the things that I was brought up to do for a lady, acceptable to do for a male, or would they generally be put off by it? Thanks.
D. J.

Hey D. J.
It seems to me that you are over-thinking the situation. I understand it’s a concern of yours so let me just remind you of the Golden Rule: Treat others how you want to be treated. I applaud your inclination to be chivalrous but in this instance, chivalry is dead. Why? Because the ancient rules of chivalry were created for a mans treatment of a woman. Not only do some modern women find chivalry to be somewhat patronizing, but also, you’re not dealing with a woman. So forget chivalry and use manners and common sense. If you want to open a door for your male date, then do so. Not because of what you learned about how to treat a lady but because you want to be polite.
There’s still an etiquette for dating. When you ask someone out on a date you are asking for their time. If they agree than you should be thankful for their time and treat them with grateful politeness. That could mean opening doors or paying for dinner (unless you have made arrangements to go dutch). That has nothing to do with gender roles but has everything to do with just being nice.
And make no mistake, if you open car doors or bring flowers (which some deem “girly” but some guys do enjoy) they will let you know if they’re not into it. And I see nothing wrong with being upfront about your confusion. You could always ask. You can tell them that you WANT to open their door because you just WANT to be sweet.
Now, for some guys, there is a power struggle. Some are appalled by the very idea of being treated like a woman. They are a man and how dare you treat them like anything less. Fuck those guys because not only are they, on some level, a self-hating gay, but they clearly have a poor opinion of what it is to be a women. Then there are some guys who have grown accustomed to doing everything themselves and find it perplexing in some way to have another person take care of them. Everyone is different and it’s best to not assume but rather be completely honest and just ask. Nothing wrong with asking.
Read more here.

Adam Levine: The Living Fluffer

I don’t know how I managed to avoid Maroon 5′s videos for so long, and honestly, I consider it a personal triumph that I have. After watching a few it was easy to write off the band as candy pop for middle-aged adults too tired to try being cool; or late teens/early twenty-somethings who have yet to discover a brain is required to be truly sexy. I paused the videos at times to get a good look at the members and, mostly, they look like they started the whole thing hoping it would be a Creedance cover band.


Except for real-world, full-time living fluffer Adam Levine. A boy too pretty for his own good and sticks out from the pudgy, neck-beards of his band. Really, I think, the band wouldn’t look so sad or awkward if Levine had a little more weight on him. As it stands, he’s the $1000 dildo amongst the nickel bin novelty “cake toppers.”
Adam Levine is hot. He’s living, breathing sex. That’s not the argument. The detail people seem to overlook is that he’s nothing more. Which is what makes it too easy to think of him as a fluffer. Levine’s sole purpose is to keep panties wet and dicks hard.
Adam-Levine-underwear
But he fails at being a real sex symbol because he’s only as hot as a dry handjob. Where’s the brains? The charm? The humor? I guess it’s too much to ask for the whole package. Unless, I mean, you look outside of Maroon 5.
Also, thanks to Buzzfeed for delivering this when I wasn’t even looking.
Here’s more of Adam Levine being a douche.
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Covering my Ass

There seems to be some confusion about what my book “Masturbating with OCD” is about. Confusion I have perpetuated by not talking about it. Why I haven’t talked about it is that I want readers to draw their own conclusions. I want them to go by their own interpretation rather than what I say it is. However, I must acknowledge that the title and the cover photo seem to give the impression that the stories are solely of masturbation. Really, I chose that cover photo to be funny(because it’s a book of funny stories); and the title because, let’s face it, nobody knows who the hell I am and I have to rely on what could be considered “cheap tactics” to grab attention. Also, because the story of the same name is, I feel, probably one of the best things I have ever written. If this were an album, it would be my first single.
As of right now, the title and cover photo seem to be more of a turn off than an attention grabber. I guess that’s fine as it’s weeding out the people who could probably never handle my sense of humor anyway.
The book, even though I just said I didn’t want to go into its meaning but I guess I must, is about making the most of a bad situation. It’s about turning negatives into positives. It’s about taking control of your afflictions and making them work for you. Because if you have to live with them then you might as well, right?
Although I don’t consider myself a champion of mental health issues I wanted to talk about it in this book to possibly shed some light on the subject. I feel that disorders like anxiety, depression, OCD, and so on don’t get the full coverage they deserve, from any outlet, and the result is a public that misunderstands. Because of the misinformation I find that when I talk about mental illnesses I usually find there are three kinds of audiences: People who suffer and don’t even know, people who know they suffer but are made to feel ashamed or bad, and (my favorite) people who don’t understand, rely on pop culture anecdotes, and think mental illness is funny or, worse, not real. My sister once said to me, “can’t you just choose to be happy?”
I am not a professional. I have no medical education or expertise. In fact, what little education I do have on the subject comes from my own experiences in doctors offices and on therapist couches. I want to make it clear that I am just some guy who suffers from a variety of issues and has chosen to see the humor in it and write that shit down. Because I really do find my behavior and the situations my disorders get me in to be truly funny.
However, mental health is not entirely what the book is about. So don’t go looking at it like a self-help book. Which, by the way, “Masturbating with OCD” would be a terrible title for a self-help book. My book is mostly about me as 30-something, Hispanic, married homosexual who loves comics and sugar. OCD just happens to be there. Sleeping in the bed between me and my husband, or sitting in the passengers seat when I drive. It’s a part of me so of course it will be mentioned. And also, no matter how many pills I take, it refuses to ignored.
Aside from that, yes, my stories are a little bawdy but not vulgar. Never vulgar. I have never felt the need to defend or explain my sense of humor and really this is the only thing I will say about it. I don’t believe in toilet humor. I am better than that. Also, fuck you, if think I owed you an explanation or a defense of my sense of humor.
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