Tagged: ocd

You and Your Kids are Gross

Okay… Here’s the thing…well…let me start with a story.
In fourteenth century Europe (boring already, right? Stick with it. I’ve got a point. Maybe) the superstitious and simple people lived in fear of cats. So many believed the common cat, especially the black ones, served as a link to or were the animal embodiment of witches – the brides of Satan. It didn’t help that the Pope even said that cats were some evil bitches in league with the devil (I’m paraphrasing). Anyway, in religious hysteria, all manner of people went on a hunt for each and every devil-cat. “They are evil and need to be destroyed,” so demanded the European religious leaders ( I assume). Sadly, the people listened and they just about succeeded in eradicating the feline. The European cat population had fallen to an all time low. Meanwhile, with a natural predator taken out, the mice and rat population shot through the fuckin’ roof! If you paid any kind of attention in school, you’ll recall that the various parasites that live on rodents (and don’t forget there was an overabundance at the time) carry a plethora of nasty diseases, such as the black fuckin’ plague. Hmmm…Very real plague vs. fictitious devil-cats. Who’s gonna win? So yeah, the black death killed 1.5 million people which is, like, half of Europe at the time (I know because I know how to operate Google).
I’m gonna let you mull that over for a bit.
Now…because I am not a parent I have not voiced an opinion on the anti-vaccination movement. I have no dogs (or children) in this fight. I do, however, know children. And I care for them deeply. I also happen to care for those who, unfortunately, have impaired immune systems. And, if I may be frank, I would like to have those people (and others) not killed off by your disgusting disease-infested rodent-children because of what you think you might know about science. Get your god damn filthy children to a fuckin’ real doctor.
“Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” If you haven’t heard that before then, congrats, you are a dum-dum. Also, if you’ve never heard that quote before just know that I made it up. It’s all me and my wisdom. Don’t bother Googling it. Trust me. I’m a doctor.
Now go watch “Contagion” and wake the fuck up.
“Masturbating with OCD” now on sale on Amazon!
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